I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
