i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
