I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Randomize
