She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Found your dick twin last night
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize