Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
