Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I still have a little drunk in my system
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
