so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
