david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
