she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
