you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He felt like a one man threesome
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
