I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
