Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
