your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
