Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Your cock deserves a montage
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
