Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
