I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He told me they were just razor bumps!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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