There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
