Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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