dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
