the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
