he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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