She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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