Christians are straight up FREAKS
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
