Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
