honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
