one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
