i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
