it wasn't lemon gatorade
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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