it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
