i think i have herpe
just one?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
