3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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