Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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