Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just threw up on my dentist
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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