it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
