Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
