I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
