We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
it's like iHOP with fire
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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