Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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