Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Holy sore nipples Batman
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
