We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
