bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
