I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
