new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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