According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
