My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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