Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
