you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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