Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
