You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
