Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She told me I should be a condom model.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
