i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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