I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
